Ten Reasons Sliced Bread Will Return as a Benchmark for Greatness

1. As the economy worsens, bread will once again be a staple, replacing all of the fancy items people have turned to such as foie gras and truffles.

2. In the realm of politics, sliced bread is amazingly bipartisan. This will be especially important in an election year.

3. Kids, who some may say create many slang terms, have been having sliced bread since their creation. Adults obviously have experience with sliced bread as well. This commonality will make the phrase breach the generation gap, uniting young and old.

4. Fathers, feeling a youthful exuberance because they understand something their child(ren) says, will start to employ the phrase at an alarming rate. Some will even get coffee mugs that say "Best Dad since Sliced Bread!"

5. Think of the merchandising possibilities!

6. BLTs are cheap and delicious and are entirely impossible without sliced bread.

7. Uncertain times lead to uncertain people. People get back to basics, to what they know, to what comforts them.

8. Whole grain bread is good for the colon.

9. Sliced bread never really went out of style. Other things just took it out of the limelight, like Kashi Go Lean Crunch and edamame.

10. The price of leather will skyrocket, so wallets will be constructed out of alternative materials. Sliced bread left out for a while, then duct taped together, can fashion a wallet of sorts. If sliced bread can adapt to the times, then so can people. There is hope. Everyday Americans will identify with sliced bread and bestow upon it the qualities of kings. Although it is incapable of independent thought and possibly under the age of 35, sliced bread will carry several states before bowing out to focus on charitable work.